Christmas is coming. We can all feel it in our bones. One of us is very excited. One of us is full of worry, full of anxiety. Two of us are exhausted and know it is going to be a very difficult 5 weeks.
We did have a breakthrough this afternoon. Jelly was talking about Christmas and wanting to put our Christmas tree up NOW, and he meant it. I gentled explained that whilst he was excited and he was allowed to be, that Boyo worries, cue an immediate ‘no I don’t.’
Feeling reckless – the after school was already feeling challenging, I continued to explain to Jelly, why I think that Boyo finds it difficult.
I explained that Boyo worries, that maybe he won’t get any presents because he isn’t good enough; I then said that Mummy and Daddy know that he finds it difficult and he does try really hard to be good. We all know that he struggles and loses the plot; but he does genuinely true to be good when he can.
I continued with the thought that we also think that Boyo finds it really hard to get presents, because deep down he starts to get scared that he might be moving. We talked about the fact his foster carers had a big party for him the day before he moved to us. We talked about the idea, that deep, deep inside Boyo he worries when he gets presents that he might be about to move.
Jelly had plainly given up listening but Boyo heard it all. He responded. I don’t like Christmas. You are right I think I might not get presents. He didn’t comment on the other; but the seed was planted.
As a slight aside. Father Christmas will stop this year. I have started the process. He knows that the Father Christmas he sees at Church is only a pretend one. That Father Christmas is too busy to do all the activities. I am devising a story to help him understand Father Christmas; the idea that Mummies and Daddies buy and give presents, not Father Christmas. But I have to be careful, as Jelly is so small still, and needs to believe in magic a little bit longer.
I suspect that there will be many more conversations about Christmas over the next 5 weeks.