This weekend the rage erupted. It spewed it’s hurt all over the family. It has been coming since the start of September and I have already made moves to start coping with it.
The worst possible thing for me, is Jelly getting hurt. It’s not pleasant being hurt myself or seeing Hubby get hurt; but we are adults. Jelly is a very small 5 year old, with his own issues; so to not be able to protect him really upsets me. I said to hubby that if he was beating me there would be all sorts of support for Jelly, but because it’s our other son, there is nothing there.
Tomorrow I see Boyo’s teacher. Tomorrow, I try to explain again what school can do to help. Tomorrow I have to make her see the effect that her decisions have on our family life. It’s been brewing, its been coming since she decided that she knew best and ignored his previous teacher. There will be no surprise from SENCO, she also knew this was coming, she suggested this meeting, not me.
There will be no surprise at work when I arrive late tomorrow, as we are going to struggle to get both boys into Hubby’s car for breakfast club. I spoke to deputy head last week to say, ‘it’s coming, he is struggling’ and she said, I’ll cover form for you every morning until you know you can be on time.
Boyo is compliant at school. But right now he doesn’t feel safe and is on high alert, each and every day. At the end of each day he is exhausted. We have been managing, however this weekend he hasn’t caught up on the sleep he needed. Which means we start this week on a low ebb.
There is no surprise to any of this. Those of us that know Boyo knew this moment was coming. However, I suspect that it might be a big surprise to his teacher. She knows he is struggling, but I don’t think she understands what struggling looks like. I am supposed to be explaining some things that have worked to support him in the past, but somehow I can’t get my head round to thinking of these ideas.
So tomorrow I will trip into school and be positive about helping teacher understand him. And I will maintain some hope that she understands what a difference him having a good experience of school makes to us.