This picture is a symbol of our life at the moment. Jelly received a certificate for sitting really still whilst having a hair cut (this is big deal for him). Boyo ripped it up and put it in the bin because he was cross.
For the last
few weeks couple of months, life here appears to have lurched from one crisis to another. We can pick it, stick it back together, and something else happens. I can laminate the certificate back together, but tomorrow, or the next day it’ll be something else.
Last week, it was the news our Social Worker hadn’t done what he was meant to do. The fact that Boyo has an NQT for a teacher next year. That Jelly has his best friend in reception with him, but none of his other friends. The confirmation of a diagnosis for Boyo, well in fact 3, 2 definites on paper, one that needs more testing, but paediatrician said she is sure he has.
The week before, a family wedding to highlight the differences between our boys and other children. And the high level of anxiety surrounding it. And another conversation overheard when someone asked my MIL refuses to admit that there are any differences.
This week, the come down from a 2 1/2hr wait to see paediatrician. The destruction of toys. The idea of transition day and all the other wonderful ‘differences’ that are happening at school at the minute.
No-one is sleeping well. No one is coping well. Himself and I are doing our best, but it doesn’t feel quite good enough at the minute. I don’t dare think about things too deeply, because I just feel overwhelmed. Tomorrow I have to go and see the head of the boy’s school, because I need to know the plans; but I need her to know that at the minute, this is hard; but I need not to cry. I don’t dare cry, because I might not stop.
I know this is a bad patch, we will get through it. We will stick it back together again. We will manage the meltdowns, the biting, hitting & kicking (from both of them of course). We will limp along, until we realise that things are calmer. But right now, this is hard.