When is okay, not okay?

When Boyo’s teacher asks him whether he understands a task, he will always say yes. 

When someone asks him if he is okay, he will always say yes.

When you ask a child who doesn’t feel safe, any question, they will generally respond with an answer to please you.

That seems simple enough to understand doesn’t it? But apparently it’s not. Once again, Boyo’s teacher has failed to grasp that him saying he is okay, does not mean he actually is.

It’s Sats time at school. And whilst he isn’t actually doing the Sats, he is been affected by them. He has been working with his 1 to 1, but he has been in the library, in the ICT room, in the science room. Anywhere, but where he usually is. But if can’t be bothering him, because she has checked everyday to make sure that he is okay and that he understands.

So it can’t be that, that is making him not want to go to school this week. It can’t be that, which is making him wobbly afterschool. It can’t be that, which made my walk to school more interesting this morning, as he was attempting to bite me, whilst I had to hold his hand. 

There is a massive disconnect here. I cannot get his teacher to understand that when he says he is okay, it doesn’t mean he is. I can’t get her to understand that school is scary…because he seems fine there. I can’t get her to write in his book either before or after a change so I can either work with him to prepare him, or at least know what is causing the issue. The response I get is that she has asked him and he is okay. 

I know that this isn’t limited to Boyo and his school. I know others have the same issue. But surely it’s not hard if parents are saying ‘Yes, we know he says he is fine, but he isn’t’ to listen and try to help. 

I know tomorrow that I will have the same issues on the way to school. I know that tomorrow afterschool, I will have a wobbly child. I am tired of trying to get his teacher to understand, that because he seems okay in school, it doesn’t mean that he is. I know these things can’t be helped, but work with us, please, just let us know as his parents so we can help him.  I am not asking for much, but help us help him. 

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