So today the boys were at the childminder’s. There was a reason for this, which I will get to, but it meant I had a lot of uninterrupted time to do some of my growing to do list.
I started simple, Brownie accounts, sorted and printed.
Got more complex, tackling HMRC about gift aid questions (relating to the above mentioned Brownies).
And then, I got to the next thing…the DLA renewal form. And unless you have completed one of this forms, you will struggle to understand the immense sigh, that even thinking about it involves. 40 odd pages, detailing what your child cannot do, giving examples of difficulties, explaining why he has night terrors and cannot resettle himself, why he needs extra help. The whole thing is full of doom and gloom, and no-where is it possible to celebrate the amazing child that Boyo is. It took me about 4 hours in total, to get it to the stage where it needs to rest, so I can reflect and alter it.
However, in the middle of the day, we had a hospital appointment about Boyo, with the sleep psychologist. I have been a bit disparing about them as I was expecting a you need to do shut the door, leave him in the dark and he will have to cry/ scream it out, (at which point I would have said thank you very much and ignored them). This was the way it seemed to be heading.
Instead what we had was a helpful meeting, with two people who have listened to us, and are actually trying to help. Okay their first suggestion was a referral to CAHMS, but I will forgive them for that, they had thought about it and realised that the sleep issues are anxiety/fear driven, so there is no easy fix. Theraplay was suggested, and I impressed them by saying, yes we do that. There was a feeling that he needed some life story work doing with him, and they are going to investigate support for that.
We talked about the attention he gets when he wakes in the night, but they understood why. And have offered to think about realistic things we can do. But there was an acknowledgement that the sleep issues are down to his attachment style. We talked about the therapeutic input we are hoping for via adoption support fund.
We talked about behaviour and control issues, we discussed giving choices, which we do a lot of the time. We talked about the non negotiables (school, childminder’s etc) and how we handle them, they have promised to consider ways to help with them.
We discussed the fact that 90/95% of the time we will be doing well, but that everyone is human and slips. Himself and I agreed with this, and pointed out that on less than 4 hrs sleep a night, it can get tricky. They have agreed to meet boyo and see what possible solutions they can then offer.
We left feeling validated, believed and hopeful that someone was trying to help us!
And in other news…after my ranting last week, emails copied into team leader and the adoption service manager, I am hopeful that this week our ASF application will actually be submitted. With an actual quote, providing therapeutic input based on an actual assessment of needs. Please keep everything crossed, that (a) the form does actually get submitted and (b) the funding is agreed.