A visitor called anxiety! 

Last Sunday, the boys and myself had to take ‘himself’ somewhere and leave him for several hours. I was stressed for many reasons, himself was stressed as well. We had a plan, it basically worked, we dropped him off, we went to our local park, played, feed ducks, played some more, had a snack and drink and then played some more. We got home for about 20mins before having to go and collect himself.

Jelly cried when we dropped Daddy off. But soon cheered up, and was positively happy when we fed the ducks. He was overjoyed when we picked Daddy up again, but just continued as ever he does.

Boyo didn’t cry when we dropped Daddy off, he tried to reassure Jelly, ‘we’ll come back for Daddy’ before slipping in anxiously ‘we will, won’t we Mummy?’ I had spent a lot of time talking to Boyo prior to leaving him, telling him our plans for the day. But he was still anxious, he spent the morning at the park diving between different activities, here there and everywhere. He cried when he heard we had to go and pick Daddy up, but cried when I asked if he wanted to go elsewhere.

Boyo spent a lot of Sunday afternoon cuddling his Daddy. I took Boyo out for a long walk on the moors, but when we got back he glued himself to his Daddy.

He has woken up screaming every night this week. He has been unable to settle to anything. He has trembled. He has been in trouble at school (they threatened to send him to headteacher type trouble). He has hit and kicked and flung toys at people (me mostly). He has hit his little brother. He has refused to eat. He has been unable to be quiet. He has been unable to stand still or sit still. He has bounced for hours on the trampoline. We have walked every single evening (miles and miles and miles). He has cried, refused to go to school, refused to get in the car. He has argued black was white.

It has been a difficult and challenging week. There has been shouting, because I am so tired I could not think what else to do. There has been separation of the boys… Jelly in the main of the room and Boyo in the doorway with me sitting so Boyo could not get anywhere near Jelly. Boyo has eaten lots of meals in the kitchen away from Jelly.

I want to think, that we are through the worst. I hope we are through the worst. I am hoping that a long weekend will help, it has to.

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3 Responses to A visitor called anxiety! 

  1. J says:

    Tough times. I hope your long weekend together has a settling and positive effect on you all.

  2. my normal says:

    Oh that is really tough. Hope he is feeling more settled soon.

  3. j corr says:

    Over the last 10 years since we started our adoption journey we have often had to take turns looking after our traumatised daughter so the other one can have some timeout – even if its just a long walk or drive. We found it was the only way we could cope when stress levels at home were unbearably high.
    good luck its really tough but you are not alone.

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