Years ago, when our dreams were different we used to think about what Christmas would be like with our child/ren. We dreamed of the run up to Christmas being an amazing time of year, with slow but gentle excitement building. We thought of of Santa express, Christmas light switch ons, special Christmas events and general joy of the season.
We didn’t dream of a 5 year old so exhausted because routines are out at school, as they practise for the Christmas show. We didn’t dream of night terrors when the 5 year old starts thinking of Santa coming down the chimney. We didn’t dream of a child who hates the thought of presents (but actually likes them really). We didn’t imagine we would have a child who hates parties, things being different.
We have our survival techniques for this time of year…
I know that at some point soon, I will keep boyo off school for day or two, so that he can relax and chill and store up enough to get through the last few weeks of school.
I know not to plan much; between now and Christmas we have committed to two things – a trip on a Santa express with our best friends and a Christmas Eve party at another good friend’s house. But these are the type of friends who understand that we might just leave, or we might go outside and have a walk around, or if it all gets too much that I will pick Boyo up and cuddle him and glare at everyone who comes near.
I know that I will not be doing the sleepover with my Brownies. I know that I will get to go out one evening and one evening only. I know that I will not be going shopping in any shops. I know that this will (once more) not be what I want, but what is best for my boys.
I know himself and I need to store up some sleep, because it will not be good over the next few weeks. I know that Jelly needs some attention before Boyo gets overwhelmed. I know that I will regret wishing this time away, but I wish that it could be easier.