And just when you think you can’t cope with anything else, something comes along and proves that you can.
Boyo and I visited the paediatrician earlier this week. A diagnosis for some of his problems was suggested. I brushed it off at the time, but since have thought about it – and himself and I are wondering. At the moment, I am not prepared to state that diagnosis, because it was just a suggestion – but my heart is aching a little more because of the possibility.
Boyo has learning difficulties and developmental delay – this we have known for a while. I’ve always held onto the hope that although he is behind his peers, that he will continue to develop and stay at the same distance behind them, that he would be seen as immature and nothing more. This week I’ve had to recognise the fact, that he might slip further away from them. That he may fall further and further behind his friends, and my heart sighs for him.
I now need to phone the paediatrician and apologise for brushing off her suggestion and asking if we can look more seriously at it. I need to talk to SW’s. I need to say to school ‘what about…’. And yet when I told a good friend last night, I just cried.
We will be okay, we will move through this, as we have moved through so much else. We love the boys, and nothing changes that. I would spare them the heart ache that their stories contain if I could. I wish their stories could be different. It’s just our world shifted again, and it’ll take a while to get back to been straight.