Feeling FINE

Excuse me, while I’m having a pity party…normal service will resume soon…

Whilst I was in the depths of infertile, I had two friends who were going through their own dark times. We had a code…if asked and the reply was ‘I’m okay’ you could generally believe it, if however the answer was ‘I’m fine’ that meant some thing very different….I’m Feeling Inadequate Needing and Emotional. It worked, and to be fair it still does!

Right now I am not the person that apparently some people want me to be. I am not feeling happy and jolly. Hearing that your child’s teacher thinks he will fall further behind his peers. Having your child described by two professionals within a week as having ‘complex needs’. Having it confirmed that developmentally he is in some areas 2 years behind his peers. This doesn’t inspire the right frame of mind..to be jolly.

Living with the same child, who is highly anxious, and dis regulated at the moment, does not make for an easy life. Especially as he is not sleeping well. The fact that he cannot, will not do the simplest of tasks at the moment, unless he chooses to, does not make me look forward to two weeks of school holiday. Just because he will only have a meltdown at home, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t happen

Sorry that I can’t be the person that you want me to be. But give me a week or two and I will bounce back. But for the minute, please, just let me be, how I need to be. Try not to criticise me for not enjoying my sons, I adore them both, but it doesn’t mean that spending time with him is pleasure at the moment.

Forgive me, I needed to get that off my chest. I am having this pity party whether you approve or not, but I will get through it, and come out the other side…bare with me….please don’t ignore me.

This entry was posted in Boyo, life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Feeling FINE

  1. adoptmum says:

    Good for you! Have your party, shout if you want to invite some like minded people, ok if not. I’m glad you know how you feel and accept it. Even just doing that can be big step. I definitely feel like this at times and I want to say it’s OK that you do. Sending a hug x

  2. Absolutely familiar and very healthy. One of my mantras has been “I am not a robot!” Normal service will resume : )

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