So we’ve reached the end of our journey in our little house…it’s been a long journey, with many, many bumps in the road. Difficult decisions, difficult times, but equally joy filled ones…
Himself brought this house nearly 20 years ago…6 more weeks would have seen him there. I’ve lived here for 17 years. We got married from here, planned our future, and then replanned our future. So many memories are being left, so many tears of laughter and sadness.
Our oldest niece who is rising 12, spent a lot of time here, both as a baby with colic…I remember sitting and playing pass the baby between us, SIL, and our best friends. She came in school holidays when she was boyo’s age and older and we had adventure after adventure. She and her sister came when their parents got married. Neither of them will spend the time in the new house…they are older now.
This house has seen us through IVF, ICSI, miscarriages, and a decision to adopt. My feelings about this are mixed, I love my boys, but every so often, my heart clenches and says ‘what if’. The pregnancy I got furthest through would have brought forth one or two now 6 year olds. But without the grief, I would not have my present joy…to each life some rain must fall.
The house has seen cats, one still with us but getting old, fish, hamsters and the dog. The woods behind hold memories of a cat who went for walks with us and it is where his ashes are.
This house is where we first heard about our boys…well technically I first heard about Jelly at work but we found out so much more about him here. It is the place we brought them home to. It is the place where we have comforted them, boyo especially through the grieving process. It is the place were we fell in love with our boys.
It is the place where boyo has had his first friends to play. The place where all our friends come.
And yet the end is reached, tomorrow a new chapter of our lives starts. This house is packed and clean. A few final wipes, a floor to clean on the way out of the door and we are gone from our home. The new house will become home, but for tonight I may dwell on this house and just what it has meant.